Is he the one that I will marry? why is it so hard to be objective about myself ? why do I feel cellularly along, am I supposed to live in this crazy city? can blindly continued fear induce regurgitated life denying tradition be overcome?

Where does the money go that I send to those in need? if we have so much why do some people have nothing still? why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning? why do you say you are spiritual yet you treat people like shit?

How can you say we're close to God and yet you talk behind my back as though I'm not a part of you? why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not? why is it so hard to tell you what I want? why cant you just read my mind?

Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listed why do I care weather you like me or not? why is it so hard for me to be angry? why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck and not the other way around?

Will I ever move back to Canada? can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and oh master? why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home? why cannot I live in the moment?